Shackled Lily Page 3

“I’m sorry?” the voice asked again.

  I heard my father sigh as he spoke. “She goes by Issy or Isadora,” he explained.

  “Issy, do you need anything?” the voice asked again.

  “Jake…I need to talk to Jake. He’s hurting…” I whispered. I felt my eyelids get heavy as I spoke and drifted back to sleep. The dreams came again, haunting me.

  Five years earlier…

  Age: 15

  It had been two years since my world was turned on its axis. My father and Anna had been married in a grand ceremony that was plastered all over the society page in the newspaper. I had initially refused to go, but my father threatened to file for custody if I didn’t. He said my mom was unstable, and no judge would stop him if he chose to pursue it. So, I sat there and watched as my father vowed to love another woman. I hated him more than ever for making me witness it. I felt I was betraying my mother just by being there, and was terrified at what I might find when I went home that night.

  Grant had come too. He was seated next to his girlfriend, the same one from that horrible night. I watched his features as he sat there, so flawless, and soft and warm in the best kind of way. He had caught me staring and captured my eyes with his until I turned away. I hated him too. I had hardly spoken to him since that night, despite his attempts to talk to me about it. I didn’t want to talk; I didn’t want to care. Kaitlyn was dead, and Issy didn’t cry over boys.

  I laid on my bed and stared at the horrible gold ceiling. My father had promised I could change the whole room on my sixteenth birthday. The thought of sleeping in here for another year was nauseating. At least I only had to come every other weekend.

  My ears burned as I heard the shrill from that child’s scream down the hall. It was quieted quickly as I knew Rosa would be in there to calm him. Figures my evil stepmother wouldn’t bother to raise her own child. The walls were closing in on me again and I needed to get out of there.

  I grabbed my robe and headed down the dark staircase and out the back door. It was well past midnight and I shivered as the breeze found its way through my light covering. I watched my feet tiptoe across the wooden pier until I stood facing the water. The moonlight was casting a perfect glow on the waves and each ripple seemed to expand past the unknown.

  “Couldn’t sleep?” It was Grant’s soft voice from the shadows.

  “The brat’s crying again,” I snapped, angry with him for ruining my perfect moment, and even angrier at myself for the butterflies that came at the sound of his voice.

  “Yeah, it’s hard to get used to, but he’s actually a pretty good baby. You might like him if you ever held him.” Grant always had something nice to say about everything. I hated that about him. Who was he to lecture me?

  “Save it for someone who cares, Grant. Now, are you going to leave or am I? I’m not really in the mood for chit chat.” My voice was sharp and flat, an exact picture of what my heart had become.

  I heard Grant get up from the chair he had been sitting in and walk over to me. He leaned backwards against the rail and folded his arms, exposing how much he had filled out since starting college. “What happened to you, Kaitlyn?” he asked sadly. “You used to be so sweet.”

  “Not my name,” I responded flippantly, not really addressing his question.

  “Oh, that’s right. It’s Issy now. Well, for the record, I miss Kaitlyn.” I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to meet them. He pushed off to leave when I didn’t respond, and I turned to see his retreating figure in the moonlight.

  A lone tear fell down my cheek as I realized I missed her too. It didn’t matter, though. Kaitlyn was weak and naïve. She would never survive my life.

  Sunday finally came, and I packed up to head back to my mother’s house. I had seen my father for maybe two hours that weekend, which was pretty much the standard. I still couldn’t figure out why he wanted me there when he just ignored me the whole time. It was his form of torture, I decided. One more year…that was all. The thought was almost tangible; I would have my license and could escape this prison any time I wanted to.

  Grant was tasked to drive me home. I did my usual and sat in the back seat, texting on my phone to various friends who had spent the weekend going to the movies and the arcade without me. Missy informed me that her brother Max was asking where I was. They were twins and both had hit the genetic lottery. Max played on the junior varsity football and basketball teams. He would be a good peg in my popularity climb so I gave her permission to pass on my phone number.

  I ultimately had my sights on Ben Jacobs, a Junior who was known as the school’s heartthrob. He lived just down the road from my father’s house, which was surprising because our school was a good forty-five minutes away. My high school was the most exclusive private school in the area, though, and Ben’s family was in a wealth class with my dad, so it kind of made sense. Dating Ben would immediately put me among the elite, and I had every intention of finding my place at the top of that group.

  “Anything interesting to report…Issy?” Grant asked from the front seat. I knew he was intentionally being snarky and sarcastic. Grant hated it when I treated him like one of the help, so naturally I had been doing it all morning.

  “Aren’t drivers supposed to drive in silence? You really need to take your role more seriously, Grant.” My voice was playful, but my eyes were sharp when I looked up at him. I knew he saw me through the rearview mirror, and I watched as his neck tensed.

  “Your eyes could throw daggers, Issy. You want to tell me why you hate me so much?”

  “I don’t hate you, Grant. I don’t anything you.” I responded flatly. My face and words were as cold as my heart felt.

  He shook his head, but didn’t say anything else the rest of the drive. When my mom’s house finally came into view, I felt like fleeing. Despite my attempts to stop it, my palms were sweating, and I had to force myself not to look up and catch Grant’s eyes in the mirror. His cologne had drifted from the front seat to the back and affected me far more than I was willing to admit. It was silly that in two whole years, this childhood crush hadn’t gone away. Ridiculous. Issy didn’t get crushes…she was in control.

  “You can take my bags to my room,” I dictated authoritatively, trying to mimic the tone I had heard my father use. I noticed a strange car parked in the parking lot and glanced up at the porch.

  “Jake!” I screamed when I saw him standing there. I hadn’t seen him in years, but always loved when our moms got us together. My aunt Kathy was my mom’s younger sister and a favorite of mine. I ran up the stairs and threw myself into his arms. He hugged me back, and I was struck by how thin he had become. I leaned back and took a good look at his face. There were large circles under his eyes and his cheeks had sunken in tremendously since the last time I had seen him. “What happened to you?” I asked before I could put a filter on myself.

  He smiled in response, but it was hollow, so different from the lively cousin I remembered. “It’s good to see you too.”

  Grant passed by me with my bags and set them down on the porch. “I think you can manage these from here,” he said coldly. “Its nice to see that you aren’t a complete brat to everyone.”

  I glanced up in shock. He had never talked to me like that before. I stared into his eyes as he glared back at me. His stare made me shiver. The look was one I’d never seen before, and if I didn’t know better, I’d almost think he was jealous. Jake’s eyes grew cold as I felt his arm grip protectively around me.

  “I think you’re done here,” Jake announced harshly.

  Grant simply nodded and got back in the car, slamming the door aggressively before peeling out of the driveway. I felt a smile creep onto my face. I had gotten to him, and the feeling of satisfaction made the horror of the weekend slip into oblivion.

  “So, how long are you here for?” I asked Jake playfully. “Hopefully long enough for us to get into plenty of trouble.”

  “How’s forever sound?” he asked apprehensively.

 
“Are you serious?” I squealed. He answered with a nod, and I jumped back into his arms. It was the best news I had ever heard. I wasn’t alone anymore. “Oh watch out, North Carolina, Issy just got a sidekick,” I kidded.

  “If you ever refer to yourself in the third person again, I will personally beat your booty.” I watched as Jake’s previously dead eyes started to get a little spark in them. They were just like mine, emerald and intense, and I felt an immediate kinship. I could tell he felt it too.

  “So, do you drive yet?” I asked as he grabbed my bag.

  “Yep.”

  I clapped my hands together as I thought of all the mischief we could get into with that one piece of metal. The possibilities were endless. My jubilation ended abruptly, though, when I went inside and saw my aunt Kathy lying on the couch. She had wasted away to almost nothing, her frail frame so emaciated that I could see her bones protruding through her shirt. I looked up and caught my mother’s eyes. There was a silent warning in them that I immediately heeded.

  “Kathy and Jake are going to stay with us for a while,” she said pleasantly, as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

  “Fantastic,” I lightly agreed, skipping over to where my aunt Kathy laid. I leaned in to whisper in her ear, “You’ve always been my favorite, anyway.” She responded with a smile that seemed as weak as her body. I turned to look at Jake, and we silently exchanged all the hurt and fear we both had suffered since seeing each other last. Ok, so maybe I could love at least one person again. From that moment, I knew Jake would be forever embedded in my heart.

  3. PHONE PRIVILEDGES

  Present Day…

  I was getting irritated with this place. I had been awake for three hours now, had eaten the terrible food they insisted on, walked up and down the hall three times and had even let them monitor me using the restroom. Yet, despite my complying with their every demand, my father still refused to let me call Jake. His way of asserting control over my life, as usual. I pouted and huffed, but to no avail. He insisted that I needed sleep and no emotional stimuli. Whatever.

  “So Daddy, you must have a ton of work to do since you’ve been stuck here with me,” I said sweetly, hoping he would miss my ulterior motive. “I would totally understand if you needed to head back to the office. Seriously, the nursing staff has it covered.”

  He looked up at me from his laptop and seemed conflicted. My dad’s buttons were so easy to push. Rule number one: always use work to get his attention. Rule number two: talk about subjects he wanted to avoid. Rule number three: make him think it was his idea. I’d have him out of here in no time.

  “I was kind of thinking I may call in the chaplain anyway. I’ve been having all these thoughts of Mom and the breakup. I don’t know, it’s just getting to me,” I said in a sad tone.

  My dad immediately stiffened and started to rub his neck. “You know, it may not be a bad idea to head out for the night. You probably will sleep better if I’m not around anyway.”

  “I think you are absolutely right, Daddy.” I batted my eyes and shot him my sweetest smile, knowing I was putting the last nail in the coffin.

  “Ok, I’m going to get going, then. You have the nurses call if you need anything, you hear?” He leaned in and kissed my forehead before rushing out of the room.

  I felt relief cascade through my whole body, and I wasn’t the only one. The nurses also seemed visibly happier to have my father gone.

  “So can I get a shower and into something besides this gown?” I asked the one named Jackie when she came in to check my vitals.

  “Of course, dear. That would probably make you feel a lot better.” She walked to the sitting area and pulled out a bag that I immediately recognized. “I think your dad packed you some stuff you may want in here.”

  She left the room, and I threw open my bag, searching all the contents. No way my father packed this bag. The person who did so knew me well. It was most likely my roommate, Avery. All the clothes were folded way too perfectly to have been Jake. I silently thanked her as the bag had all the essentials I could ever want and to my pure joy, I found my phone and charger sitting at the very bottom. Plugging it in, I felt slightly more lighthearted and headed to shower for the first time in days. My mind still couldn’t wrap around the fact that it was the fifth of January. I had lost days of my life, well actually I had almost lost my entire life. It was a thought too heavy to process so I quickly pushed it aside.

  My mind then wandered to Grant as I wondered what he thought of my accident. Did he still care? I was once again annoyed that I wanted him to. I had successfully put him out of my mind after seeing him at Thanksgiving. Ben’s party had been a very effective mind eraser in that respect. Now it seemed I couldn’t get the memories of him out of my head. It was all those stupid dreams.

  I had to get out of here. I was suffocating in the silence and felt almost panicked at the idea of spending another second alone. I felt the tangles pull as I brushed through my long black hair, leaving droplets of water on my soft flannel pajamas. It felt so good to be clean.

  My phone was charged enough to turn it on and soon came an onslaught of messages and voicemails, over a hundred to be exact. I smiled to myself…I wasn’t forgotten. I didn’t bother with any of them. Only one person really mattered in my mind.

  His phone barely rang before I heard his panicked voice. “Issy?”

  “In the flesh,” I answered playfully. “Or should I say in the voice? I don’t know. Either way, it’s me.”

  Jake was laughing, almost hysterically which seemed odd to me. “Issy, you have no idea how much I wanted to hear your voice. Are you ok?”

  “If you call being held captive in a stark white hospital room with no friends being ok, then yes, I guess so. When are you going to come break me out of here?”

  Jake laughed again, heartier than the first time, and I laughed with him as the feeling of comfort started to flow all through my body.

  “I’d be there in a flash, Issy, if your dad hadn’t practically threatened me the last time we spoke. I would have told him exactly where to go except that he reminded me he could pull you from Winsor in a second. I agreed to stay away at that point.”

  “That jerk. He knows everyone’s weakness,” I huffed, irritated that Jake wasn’t here with me and it was all my father’s doing.

  “Hey Issy?” Jake asked apprehensively.

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m really sorry. I said horrible things, and I didn’t mean any of them. I couldn’t have made it this far without you. Please don’t ever scare me like that again.”

  I heard Jake’s voice quiver and felt the tears come to my eyes. Darn him for almost making me cry. “Jake, not another word. We’re family. That gives us a stupid pass every now and then,” I assured him, trying to pull as much humor to my voice as I could. I found the self-control I was searching for and then continued to bombard him with questions about what had been going on the last few days. He didn’t mention Avery, and I didn’t ask. That was a dysfunctional relationship if there ever was one. Jake broke her heart, then fell in love with her. Only problem was that she was now in love with someone else. Jake wasn’t ready to believe it, but it was crystal clear to me. Parker and Avery were meant to be together. I just wondered how long it would take and how much pain he would have to feel before he accepted it.

  I didn’t know what Jake was thinking. Our family was cursed when it came to love. We had made a pact in high school to never fall in love, as we both saw first hand what it did to our mothers. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

  We talked a little longer and then got off the phone. I tried to call my mom, but it went straight to voicemail. Odd. I left her a message. I wanted to call Avery, but suddenly felt so exhausted, I had to lay down. Sleep overtook me quickly, and I sunk back into the world I vowed I’d forget.

  Two years earlier…

  Age: 18

  It was finally my senior year, and I loved every second of it. I had permanently establis
hed myself as the queen of the school, an honor bestowed on me almost immediately after Ben and I started dating. My mom had busied herself with caring for my aunt Kathy, so I no longer felt the need to babysit her whenever Anna’s picture would show up in the society page.

  Ben and Jake both being at Winsor was the only downfall in the equation, but we saw each other often enough. When Jake wasn’t home, Ben usually was, and I had learned the art of finding a good party anywhere in the city.

  It was my weekend at my dad’s again, and while I dreaded two days with my stepmother and her son, it did make it easier when Ben was in town. He was taking me to dinner and out to a local club that turned a blind eye to minors. I hadn’t seen him in weeks and couldn’t wait until he got here.

  I tiptoed into my dad’s liquor cabinet while I waited and found the stash I was looking for. Another positive thing about coming to my dad’s house was that I discovered how numbing alcohol could be. The combination of neglect and easy access made hiding it a piece of cake, leading me to have multiple private drinking parties while trapped in the house. Grant had caught me on numerous occasions, and while he took it out of my hands and sent me to bed, he never told my dad about it.

  Grant had changed in the last year or so. He had broken up with his girlfriend and was starting to lose that boyish softness I liked so much. Personally, I thought he looked miserable, so I refrained from torturing him too much. We had learned to exist without interacting, which was a good thing since I still would get butterflies whenever his hand would accidently brush mine. More than once, I had caught him staring at me, looking conflicted as to whether or not to say something. The moment usually ended with one or both of us walking the other way, leaving a silent tension hanging unresolved in the air.

  I continued to drink until my teeth felt numb and thoughts of Grant slipped from my mind. By the time Ben showed up, I was well past sober, a fact I was grateful for after only ten minutes with him. College had changed Ben too. While arrogant and stuck up in high school, he was still funny and charming, but now he was just rude to everyone and seemed to only care when he could party next. Ben had moved from alcohol to weed and then on to some heavier stuff since going to Winsor. I wanted nothing to do with any of it, which annoyed him when he came home.