Shackled Lily Read online

  By midnight he was bored and wanted to leave. I, on the other hand, was having the time of my life dancing with various people in the club. The bartenders had been very kind to me as they went on and on about how beautiful my eyes were. Ben had only danced with me twice and spent most of the night in the corner texting on his phone. I was starting to wonder if I should rethink this dating thing as his stock was seriously starting to plummet.

  I reluctantly agreed to leave after he growled at me for the fifth time. The room was starting to spin anyway, so it was probably a good thing. Ben dropped me off in front of my house and peeled out of my driveway with barely a goodbye. My inebriated state was likely the only thing keeping me from driving to his house and busting out one of his headlights.

  Good riddance, I thought, and headed through the house and out to the lake. The sand felt cold on my feet, and I watched as the water stayed eerily still as I approached it. I could hear it beckoning me, calling me to it. It was the Lady of the Lake and her voice was hypnotic as I slowly removed my dress. The icy water burned my feet as I walked forward, but it didn’t deter me. In fact, I relished it, that feeling of numbness that blocked out any and every emotion I didn’t want to feel. By the time I was waist deep, I could no longer feel my legs and slowly let myself sink down until I felt the surface of the water against my neck and then my forehead. I closed my eyes and let the sound of the water rock me to sleep as I sunk lower into the depths.

  A minute later I was floating. The water was gone, but the movement continued, comforting me as I tumbled towards sleep.

  “What is wrong with you?” a terrified voice asked in the distance. It was honey sweet and electrified every one of my senses. I felt warmth envelope me as his voice continued, “I need you to open your eyes, just for a second so I know you’re still with me, ok?”

  I loved his voice, every word like fire to my frozen heart. I opened my eyes as he requested and stared lovingly at his beautiful face. I caressed his cheek, feeling his light stubble that always showed up at the end of the day. It was the first touch we had shared in months, and I knew my fingers would remember the feeling long past that moment. His expression was soft, reminding me of the boy who held me as I cried so many years before. He held me now too, wrapped up in a blanket as the fire cast an orange glow over his tan features.

  I snuggled back into him, enjoying every moment of this wonderful dream, and was weightless once again. His arms were so tight and snug against my body that I almost felt disappointed when my mattress gave under my weight, and my soft sheets were pulled over the blanket. I felt his hand on my cheek, his thumb ever so lightly following the contours of my lips. I wanted to open my eyes, but they were too heavy to move, so I lay motionless as his touch left a trail of fire on my skin.

  “So beautiful,” he whispered. “Like the forbidden fruit put here just to torture me.”

  His heavy sigh echoed in my room before I felt the bed shift and the door close with one simple click.

  Present day…

  I bolted out of bed, my pajamas soaked and my breathing shallow. Was that a memory or a dream? I remembered Ben and the club, even the lake, but had never remembered anything past that. I pulled myself out of bed and splashed cold water on my heated face. This had to stop! I never dreamed, ever. It was always just dead time when I slept. Of course, it had been years since I was sober this many days in a row, a problem I would need to remedy quickly. This couldn’t go on. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him, and it was killing me.

  I looked over to the clock. It was one in the morning, but there was no way I was sleeping. I dialed Jake’s number. Voicemail. My irritation started to boil. My mom hadn’t called me back either. I tried her again, but got the voicemail again. I slammed the END button and pouted. I wanted out of here. Finally, I calmed and called Avery’s phone. She was typically an early to bed type, but was usually pretty good about waking up to talk to me. It rang and rang, and just when I thought it would go to voicemail, I heard Avery’s voice.

  “Hi!” she yelled into the phone so loud that I had to pull it away from my ear. “How are you?”

  She sounded like a teenager who just got caught making out by her parents. “Wow, Avery, you’re like breathing heavy. What did I interrupt?” I asked playfully.

  “Nothing! Jake and I were just celebrating your waking up!”

  At that point I knew Avery had been drinking and I scowled knowing that Jake was the reason. “Have you been drinking?” I asked, trying to sound lighthearted. “And with Jake of all people?”

  “Just a couple of glasses of champagne, nothing big.”

  “Avery, champagne is the worst. No wonder you are slurring your words. What happened to Parker?” What had I missed in five days?

  “Nothing! Jake and I are just friends.”

  Just friends? Yeah right. I shook my head and cursed Jake a little. I knew exactly what he was doing. I thought about New Year’s and the look on Jake’s face when Avery left the apartment with Parker. I hadn’t even shut the door before I saw Jake’s fist hit the wall, sending white powder everywhere. His eyes were wild, desperate. I hadn’t seen that look since his mom died, and it scared me. I was suddenly worried for Avery. She was no match for Jake. He had mastered the art of manipulating girls to get what he wanted. I knew how he worked, mostly because I would do the same thing to men, and I suddenly felt very protective of Avery.

  “Avery, I love Jake, you know that. But he cannot be trusted with you, ok? He’s not there out of friendship. You didn’t see him last night…I did. I mean New Year’s, whatever. Anyway, Parker is a good guy, and I’ve seen the way you are with him. You need to really think this through.” I didn’t know how to be more clear and hoped she would at least stop and think.

  “It’s good to see you are back to your old, opinionated self,” she said after a stretch of silence. Her voice was more reserved now…a good sign.

  “Would you expect anything less?” I asked and then continued, “Hey, since he’s there, will you let me talk to him for a minute? I can’t seem to get ahold of my mom. I’m guessing my dad verbally accosted her pretty well.”

  “Yeah, he’s pretty efficient at that,” she blurted out and my anger burned.

  “You too? Man, he’s a piece of work. Every nurse on my floor shakes when he’s around!” How could my dad yell at Avery? There wasn’t a sweeter person in the world. I was about to continue on my rant until I heard sniffles in the background. “Avery, what’s wrong? Are you crying?”

  “Maybe,” she sniffled. “I’m just so glad you are ok. I don’t know what I would have done if anything happened to you.”

  I felt myself tear up for the second time tonight and irritation consumed me. “Avery, this here is why you stay away from champagne! Give me Jake,” I demanded.

  I heard shuffling and then Jake’s hearty voice. “Hey sweetie, what’s up?” He sounded distracted, no doubt watching whatever Avery was doing.

  “What are you doing?” I scolded.

  “I’m having a drink with a friend. Goodness Issy, is your confinement starting to get to you?”

  “Jake, don’t treat me like I’m stupid. Avery is dating Parker. You need to leave her alone.”

  I heard his voice change as his anger was clear even through the phone. “A minor problem that will be remedied soon. Probably already would have been if not for your impeccable timing.”

  “Jake…hear me when I tell you this. She is in love with Parker, whether she realizes it yet or not. You need to let this one go.”

  “Like hell she is!” he screamed into the phone. “He’s just the rebound guy!” I jumped from his voice. I was actually navigating new territory here with Jake, leaving me a little unclear as to how to deal with him. I couldn’t see him, so I didn’t know how close he was to losing it.

  “Fine, whatever,” I relented. “Have you talked to Mom? She’s not answering my calls.”

  “Yeah, I talked to her after you called. Your dad had already told
her you woke up.”

  “What? She knows and she didn’t call me?” Our relationship had been strained since aunt Kathy died, but this was ridiculous. “What did she say?”

  “Nothing really, just that she was glad your dad was there.”

  I let out an audible growl. Since when did they team up?

  “Listen, Issy, can I call you later? I’m kind of in the middle of something here,” Jake asked, his voice distracted again.

  “I bet you are,” I whispered and then hung up the phone. I looked around my empty room and grabbed my slippers to head out the door. There had to be someone on duty I could talk to.

  4. FIRST KISS

  Last Summer…

  Age: 19

  It had to be the worst summer on record, I decided. My aunt Kathy had died on a Tuesday, and we had the funeral two days later. My mom and Jake were like zombies walking around, barely speaking to anyone. I felt bad for them, but I couldn’t take it anymore and actually had chosen to come to my dad’s house. I mean, I missed her too, but goodness, she was finally free from that rotting body. They should be happy for her. I certainly was.

  I walked out to the lake with my towel and magazine, hoping to soak up some of the hot North Carolina sun. I didn’t know why I bothered. My skin was so fair, I needed SPF 50+ just to keep from burning. I had given up trying to tan a long time ago. As I approached, I saw Grant lounging on one of the chairs with a book in his hand. His shirt was sitting next to him, and I felt a tingle go from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes as I watched his muscular chest gleam in the sunlight. I stood there frozen knowing I should retreat back to the house and avoid him. My body didn’t seem to agree, and I was suddenly walking past him to the adjacent chair.

  I set down my things and then made a point to remove my swimsuit cover in front of him, exposing my red bikini. He didn’t move and his sunglasses covered his eyes, but I could see the muscles in his neck strain a little. I smiled internally. It was about time he noticed me. Every other man in the state had, but Grant had always somehow managed to stay casually aloof.

  I settled myself into the chair, finding the most flattering position I could and pulled out my magazine. I had already read this one and didn’t really care for any of the new fall fashion it showed. Orange seemed to be the up and coming color, and I hated orange. My guess was the fad would last maybe two months…if that.

  I set down my magazine and whined, “I’m bored.”

  Grant didn’t move, but I saw one of his eyebrows lift under his glasses.

  “You wanna go out on the boat?” I asked, turning to him. My internal voice was screaming at me, but I didn’t care. I needed interaction with people, and he was all that was available. End of story.

  “You’re asking me to go on the boat with you?” Grant asked incredulously, finally turning to look at me full on.

  “Yeah, why not?”

  “I don’t know, maybe because we’ve barely spoken in five years,” he answered, his honey voice still able to bring butterflies to my stomach.

  “Semantics. You coming or not?” I asked in a bored tone, masking my face of any emotion.

  “I’d say no, but I’m a little too curious,” he admitted with a sly smile.

  I leaned into him, placing my elbows on my knees while I used my most seductive tone. “Well, you know what they say?”

  “What’s that?”

  “Curiosity killed the cat.” I was flirting shamelessly at this point. I knew I should stop, but it was actually working on him. I guess years of perfecting my talent were finally paying off.

  Grant sat up and leaned toward me, leaving very little room between us. He had a full on smile at this point and answered in the same seductive tone I gave him. “Good thing I’m not a cat.”

  We stared at each other through our sunglasses, and I felt my body flush with a scorching heat that had nothing to do with the sun. Grant was the first to break the spell and stood up, offering me his hand. His touch sent more sparks through my body, further reminding me why I avoided it at all cost.

  I grabbed my cover up and sunblock and then followed him down the pier to the boat. My dad always left his keys in there, and Grant kept the gas tank full, so minutes later we were slicing through the blue water and feeling the wind on our skin. I stood at the rail and lifted my hair to dry the sweat starting to bead on my neck. Slowly releasing the black strands, I let the wind blow them around until I felt the ends tickle the small of my back. As I turned to lean my back on the rail, I noticed Grant’s eyes boring through me. I shot him a coy smile, enjoying how aware of me he was, and walked towards him.

  “I want to ski,” I announced as I approached. He slowed the boat down and anchored us as we pulled out the equipment. His muscles were tense as he moved. I placed my hand on his back as I reached down to grab a life vest, making him stiffen even more.

  “One or two?” he asked curtly as he pulled out the skis.

  “Two for now. I’ll drop one if I want to.” I had become an accomplished skier since my dad had moved out here. Mostly because there wasn’t much else to do when I was forced to visit.

  Grant moved away from my touch and threw the skis in the water. He then tied the rope and threw it out there as well. I zipped up my vest and jumped off the back of the boat and into the water. It was chilly, but comfortable enough to swim. I put the skis on, got positioned and waved at Grant. The boat bolted forward, and I was immediately out of the water and flying across the surface. Adrenalin surged through my body, and I squealed with delight as the boat raced forward. I tried all of my old tricks and even threw off the other ski. Once I felt my arms start to burn, I let go of the rope and slid in the water. Grant circled around, picked up my abandoned ski and then came back to where I floated in the water.

  I climbed back in the boat and began wringing out my hair. “Wow, I forgot how much fun that is,” I exclaimed, smiling.

  Grant didn’t say a word, just stood there staring at me.

  “What?” I asked, confused.

  He shook his head and turned. “Nothing, just thought I saw someone I used to know,” he answered sadly.

  I shrugged it off and pulled out the wakeboard, shaking it mischievously in front of him.

  “Come on, Grant, you know you want to.”

  He grinned and then grabbed the board out of my hand. “There are places for women like you, Issy.”

  “Really? And where is that?” I asked flirtatiously, placing a hand on my hip as I met his eyes.

  “Somewhere with fire, where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth,” he retorted as he threw the board in the water, following quickly behind it.

  I laughed out loud, feeling it echo through my body. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” I yelled back at him in the water.

  I pushed the boat along as soon as I saw Grant’s hand go up. He was incredibly athletic and did flips and turns like he had been wake boarding his whole life. Seeing Grant on the water, so full of energy and life, made me almost forget that he spent most of his time stuck in an office doing my dad’s bidding. I wondered why he still did it. He had graduated from college this past May, yet had stayed working as my dad’s assistant. It didn’t make sense to me. I’d so be out of there.

  I watched Grant drop into the water and turned the boat around to pick him up. He was smiling ear to ear when he got back in the boat and shook out his hair, pelting me with little water droplets.

  “Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve done that?” he beamed as he toweled off.

  I slowly pulled my eyes from his perfect abdominal muscles and brought them back up to eye level. He grinned at me as he put his shirt back on.

  “What now?” he asked as though spending the day together was a normal thing for us to do.

  “Sandbar?”

  He nodded in agreement and took over the driver’s seat. The sandbar was on the other side of the lake and was one of the more secluded spots because the lake level dropped to only three f
eet. Ben and I had been out there for more than a few lake parties, and it was a known make out spot for teenagers who lived on the lake. Lucky for us, the area was empty when we anchored the boat and swam out there.

  As soon as I could touch, I felt Grant lift me off my feet and dunk me into the water. Water surged around my face as I barely shut my mouth before going under.

  “Oh, you are so dead!” I screamed after getting to my feet again. I tried repeatedly to get him under the water, even climbing on his back at one point, but it was no use. My five foot four frame was no match for his. Secretly, I liked his strong arms around me, even if it meant I became waterlogged. I finally surrendered, and he beat his chest like a Neanderthal. I laughed as I splashed him one more time.

  Collapsing on the dry beach, I felt utterly exhausted, but happier than I had in a long time. I was even sober and feeling this way, which never happened. Sand stuck to my bare back and slid in my bikini bottoms as I lay there, but it didn’t matter. It would wash off the minute I got back in the water. I watched as Grant sat down next to me and I leaned up on my elbows to look at him.

  “You have a talent, Issy,” he stated matter-of-factly.

  “What’s that?”

  “You make people forget just for a moment that they’re all grown up. Hanging out with you brings me back to my childhood.”

  “I’m no child, Grant.”

  Grant just sighed and nodded. “Trust me, I’ve noticed. That’s not what I’m saying. It was meant to be a compliment.”

  “Thanks then, I guess.”

  We sat in silence for a while until Grant finally spoke again. “I’m sorry about your aunt.”